Azerbaijan – JIVA – Just Go.
I don’t, dear reader , usually launch into an expletive-laden rant but fucking hell fire, Azerbaijan, what the holy fuckety fuck is this?
The very fact that Ictimai have had to issue a statement to say that it *hasn’t* been written by AI tells me that it probably has and a cursory look at the lyrics, such as they are, really gives it away. I quote you a line from this song :
“You know I’ll erase you from my soul”
Now you can’t tell me in all honesty that someone who either Speaks English or has a working knowledge of it says this in real life?! The Rhymes in this song are straight out of the Maltese Rhyming Dictionary which as clearly been fed into ChatGPT with the command “Write me a Eurovision song”. It’s trite nonsense that a secondary school music student would be embarrassed to write with their own hands but yet, somehow, a national broadcaster said “yup”.
Then we have the tune they paired with this shite, The Azeri composer has taken the most basic library track off the shelf labelled “Generic power ballad number 50”, remastered it to a degree and played it over the lyrics to end up with a song that could be the theme to some sort of telenovela or the like. And to top this off is the ending. Just when the song is building to something – it stops and finishes. I mean, talk about a denial of pleasure!
It’s so artificial I actually want to never hear it ever again but I fear I’m going to hear it at least two more times. It won’t make me like it any more, especially since we have heard it repeatedly in this contest and loads better. I’m sure Jiva can sing and it’s nice to hear Azeri/Turkish being sung in this contest but it just boils my piss.
Phil’s Score – 1 Point – Purely for the Azeri.
