For I have returned and the world will be sorry… mwah...

Yes the wilderness is over and I'm even tempted to return to the contest itself next year as the finances are looking less ropey....

I have never seen the UK Press be

So shouty and relaxed after a UK Rehearsal. We have waited so long for something that is so good and in tune for once,...

Russia – eeeerm WTF?!!?

I've been coming to this shindig for 14 years and I'm not often wrong-footed or dry with words. This is one of those times. They start...

Netherlands, The – The cheap version of Ovi and thing….

It's Paula and Ovi on the cheap!! - Instead of having pianos and fire they have.... guitars and no seats!! - Again, recession bites...

Ukraine- it’s the special olympics!

Not special like that!! - It's very special...ist. Definitely appealing to an audience with the obligatory male hunky backing Dancer but, in a twist,...

Macedonia & Switzerland. I’m flagging.

Macedonia's presentation is unexpected. Tijana is in a black suit with white trim and the whole staging is very 80s black and white and...

Spain… It’s raining notes…….

.... the one's she's dropped at all the wrong moments. She went up for the first 2 high notes and whilst she got makes...

Semi Two rolls on….

Ireland I've not been a fan of this since it was selected and there's not much in rehearsal to change my mind. There's a nice...

Multimedia? Just for you, our pundits’ view on semi-final 1 carnage

You asked for it! Well, maybe not but you're getting it anyway. Enjoy our experts' views on the 10 lucky(?) songs that made it...

Norway – No Way

This is wrist slittingly awful.  It's isn't the most happy of songs at the best of times and, it has been said, that he...