Iceland – it *is* too late to save this
Poor young Ari. As we know by now, he's been lumbered with this pile of shite. He's better than this. He has to be...
Don’t throw stones, just drumsticks
Swiss Zibbz up now, and pretty much as you would expect after seeing the Swiss national final. Coco has a burgundy colour theme running...
Saara and her wheel of misfortune
Ooh Lady Saara of Altoo now and, as expected, she’s has a big prop erection onstage consisting of a wheel of fortune at the...
Controversial piece number 318 – Saaaara Aalto
This song ... well ... it really does need some words to describe it, I guess.
The first set of words I'm going to use...
Slovenia pushing THAT button
So ... I popped out to relieve myself, and got caught in a gaggle of press and fans surrounding Eleni Foureira, and then another...
Iceland’s sweet saccharin sugar rush
Ari - from your real land of icebergs - next up and he’s joined by five backing singers and no piano or instruments, despite...
Poland – Well this got better
This has got better. It had to really, because on Wednesday it fell a bit flat. There seems to have been a lot of...
Austria – ain’t nobody but Cesar
It’s Austria now, time to have a good old ogle at lovely Cesar Sampson. Steady myself! It’s not even midday yet, and I’m all...
Russia – Why do I get the feeling …
... that this is a whole load of wrong?
It appears that Julia has been placed slightly lower in the chamber of magma and the...
Ukraine – more over the top than under the ladder
For reasons undisclosed, the feed from the hall cut out and we only got half of the song during the first two rehearsals.
On the...