Fue go go go!!
Eleni is up last in the first semi and she is sizzling hot in flame gold and red catsuit joined by a troupe of...
Cyprus: 17 down, one to Fuego
17 down, one to Fuego, and it is of course Cyprus. Eleni appears in a tunnel of laser cloud, clad in a golden catsuit,...
Cyprus – Hi, is that Finland … can we borrow your...
I've just sat with most of Europe's fan and web press as they gave this a massive round of applause on its first run-through.
'Fuego'...
My Irish dream shattered (possibly)
Ooh Ireland! What have you done? My favourite song of the year and you’ve tried to be too ambitious. Ryan starts well enough, looking...
Irish dancing – but it’s no Riverdance
I was still having a beer when Ireland came on, but somehow that seems quite appropriate. Ryan standing with guitar, a female backing singer...
Oh old Ireland …
I was scared with this one - scared that this would be "the one with the gay dancers", but thankfully it's not turned into...
Smouldering Sevak
Lovely burly and beary Sevak now for Armenia, in a ring of black slabs not too dissimilar to a modern day version of Stonehenge....
Armenia – Thank God I have coffee!
This can be summed up quite succinctly: A hairy man, sings a boring song ... in his nightgown. He doesn't move from his starting...
Armenia #BeardEnvy
Armenia now, and the outright winner were this the Eurovision Beard Contest. Unfortunately, it’s not, and the Contest he’s in seems, sadly, beyond his...
Saara and her wheel of misfortune
Ooh Lady Saara of Altoo now and, as expected, she’s has a big prop erection onstage consisting of a wheel of fortune at the...