Some would say I’ve been a bit negative. They would be right. But I can see the good in things, and I always try to keep the “televoter in Lviv” in mind.
Poor old televoter. He is going to be in trouble with these three.
Norvegia: Christine Guldbranson
Christine Guldbranson (or Kate) has a very good song — if you like that sort of thing. She gives a confident performance, with minimal choreography and violins, but there is one serious drawback: it is in Norwegian.
When the televoters pick up the phone, I seriously doubt that Norwegian-language voters are going to number millions. It is a serious song, and it might be better in English.
Spain
Spain, however, is a dog’s breakfast of a thing. It has chairs and shit, four people claiming to sing, and the general impression of shit in a bag served on a plate. I have never got through three minutes of it before today; the first four lines are usually enough to have me reaching for the Swedish entry in alphabetical order.
There is plenty of choreography, with dancers, chairs and things. They sit up and down and dance. But the absence of “Espana, Espana” in the hall is noticeable. They may be stars, but on this evidence they may be ending their career on Saturday.
Bloody Mary? Bloody shambles, more like.
Malta
He still doesn’t! He does, however, perform the hell out of a weak song. There is plenty of choreography and a fab, typically bouncy performance, which is going to come across well.
And coming after the arse that is Spain, he is going to get a hatful of votes. I think.
