Mr Phil explains Eurovision 2014 – 10th – 6th

10th Spain – OK-ish result for Spain. Fans wanted more, bit if you can’t actually DANCE in the title of the song – you’re a bit screwed. Shouty Ballad gets shouty placing.

9th Denmark – Home town result. Song not strong enough to threaten and, whilst they looked like waiters, they didn’t serve the optimal dish to the voters. Underdone.

8th Russia – Delegation feared the worst, but escaped with average placing of an average song, sung very badly.

7th Norway – This was going to win? – Never in a million years. Carl looked too pained and song too painfully for this to do anything special. Flattered to deceive.

6th Ukraine – Result the song deserved. Nothing overblown, just a very good pop song that connected all around.