Eurovision, unplugged, unpolished, unapologetic
21.3 C
Vienna
Monday, August 17, 2026
ONEUROPE: Eurovision Song Contest news
Contests 2011 I’ve missed loads, haven’t I?

I’ve missed loads, haven’t I?

Esprit Arena

I was so overwhelmed by Armenia and orange cake that I’ve been exploring some other parts of the Koelner HotelArena, specifically the tiny gym in the basement. It’s very good, if you like incomprehensible treadmills, no air-con and free apples. Free apples, you say? Hoo yeah!

While I was away, I missed Turkey and Serbia and am currently missing Russia – however, watching Phil watch and react to Russia in the Sky Soccer Saturday stylee has told me much of what I need to know. Basically, he keeps going “Oh, dear God, he’s [pointless piece of OTT stagery]” to which I instantly respond “Oh, like [random ESC entrant of the last 10 years or so]”. I’ll have to catch up with them a little later when I’m mentally prepared. He seems to be typing rather fast and furiously even as I write, so this should be an interesting review.

Meanwhile, I’ve got an apple – I’m reasonably confident it’s actual apple and not Plasticine – which urgently needs eating. Back in a bit!