Eurovision, unplugged, unpolished, unapologetic
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Vienna
Monday, August 17, 2026
ONEUROPE: Eurovision Song Contest news
Contests 2005 Where’s my granny?

Where’s my granny?

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Moldova were rescheduled and still haven’t turned up, the buggers, so we were left with…

Latvia
It was all a bit primary school assembly this one. Two sweet faced little imps looking all lost on the big stage, before they started whinging and griping about the sound. A bit later they strode to the front and started doing some fashion of sign language along to the music. Their mum’s must be very proud…

Monaco
A while back when I first heard this song I got a bit of the shivvers, so lovely it was. Immediately my peers in Eurovisioness mocked me and predicted it would be plumb last. Now, after this performance, everyone’s saying it’s a guaranteed qualifier, and I feel just a smudge vindicated. Lovely song by a lovely girl (even if she is a freckly ging) with sparkling strings and a real hairs on the back of the neck feel to it. And she can’t half sing. No winner, but well up there.

Right then, more pancakes and dumplings for me I fancy before the horror of Belarus.