If Estonia was hatesex …

Alma

This is more like a shit date. You expect your companion to wine and dine you, but instead you end up the Travelodge in Redcar in among the whippets and flat caps!

This rehearsal was an incredible letdown. Alma is another one in an astigmatism dress, made worse by the fact that the background is Paris by night. She blends into the background. There are not enough close-up shots and when there are, there is a cold, vacant look in Alma’s eyes that was painful.

It’s all unraveling before our eyes for the French, and there is nothing they can do at this late stage to grab it back. She can’t fill the stage and seems to crumple in the spot she stands. It’s currently worse than Estonia’s performance was and, frankly that was a massive letdown.

This could have been so much more.