And finally, France … hmmmm
A literal fuckton of people in this place have decided that, after the first run-through - this song is the best thing since sliced...
And mercifully, La France is our last
Et enfin, la France. Thankfully, this is a simple presentation, no attempts to over complicate it. The pair are on stage in black outfits,...
Germany (just) and Italy
I'm doing a double header, which I realise will cause that Phil a headache as it didn't fit the nice neat end of day...
Germany: don’t get it Ted
Well considering this is a song about the death of his dad, Michael has made this sound as though this is a three-minute anger...
Italy – Fundamental mistake ahoy
The Italian delegation has committed one of the major cardinal sins of Eurovision staging. They have made "projections" of words a part of the...
Spain – Oh my actual …
Is it wrong that we found this more exciting? No, seriously, I found this funnier, more entertaining and more realistic than the absolute shite-fest...
Spain: more sweet, less saccharine
Spain, and if the amount of social media attention is anything to go by then this would be the winner by a mile. The...
Our first look at the UK!
It’s the UK. Always a nervy moment, as even though I’m not patriotic, I do want us to do well. I love SuRie –...
UK – I have no problems here
There are members of 'the press' in the area where we are that have already decided that the UK will not finish any higher...
Portuguese simplicity
It’s our first look at Portugal and the Big 5 now. The first ever Portuguese entry on home soil. How long we’ve waited for...