Isn’t first-class wi-fi wonderful?
Anyhoo, you don’t want to hear about the Genoa cake and Ginger Biscuits I’ve just been served; you want to hear about the Eurovision Big Six, don’t you?
France – A happy-go-lucky little ditty from France… said no one ever. Clearly, they have gone for the mood music this year, as it’s a little bit dark and depressing. But I fear she’ll try to have the same stage presence as Patricia Kaas, but have the results of Patricia Kraus.
Spain – My Lovely Horse lives! It’s not a bad song, don’t get me wrong; it’s just a little bit… well… misplaced, to be honest. Nice never does well, therefore this won’t be doing well.
Germany – This is more like it! This has “gay Eurovision Frenzy” written all the way through it. When Cascada comes on stage, or down to the Slag House at some point in the next week, she’s going to be mobbed by the ne’er-do-wells in the family, who are going to boost her ego by telling her she’s the best thing since sliced bread. She isn’t… however, don’t say that this song isn’t a contender, because it ticks all of the old-fashioned Eurovision boxes. This is, so they say, what Eurovision should be… Is that good enough?
Sweden – Hometown votes are not going to save this. It will go very big in the Malmö Arena-shed, but it suffers from Denmark Disease… How many times can you say the same phrase without it becoming incredibly annoying? I’d say about 17 too many in this song.
Italy – Marmite in vocal format, this one. I know lots of people who love it, and loads of people who despise it in equal measure, but I think it’s good enough to do business across Europe. Don’t, therefore, be surprised when it climbs the leaderboard.
United Kingdom – The two schools of thought on this are both right. On the one hand, she is an experienced singer who will do this justice if she sings it well live. On the other hand, is she too old at 61? She certainly seems to be putting the mileage in to get the promotion tour sorted out, which is good, but the two performances, neither of which I have seen or heard, as they are not rehearsals, seem to be a little bit tinny. Potential for the top 10, also potential for disaster – let’s hope someone has told her Friday night is important too.
